Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Party Girl Turned Grandma?

I struggled a little bit last weekend (my first full weekend back at school). I go to a school with a huge party reputation, and for the most part, students live up to that. I went out a lot last semester, but this semester I am really not interested in it. I haven't been drinking, because it's bad for me physically and mentally (and emotionally, honestly).

I don't want the extra calories. I don't want the headache, dizziness, and unproductiveness that can come the next day because of a night out. I don't want to wake up feeling like I made bad decisions or embarrassed myself in any way.

I have no problem staying in, but my issue is that I don't really have any friends that would rather stay in than party.

Last weekend, I stayed strong and did not drink at all (it's been since about early December since I have). My issue was that I was laying in my bed hanging out by myself.

Now, don't get me wrong - I really do enjoy my alone time and relaxation. But it's really hard to stay in and do nothing when all of my friends are out together partying. I got in my own head, and felt like I had no friends (which isn't true), and I just felt depressed at the possibility that every weekend was going to be like this.

I realize that my feelings were melodramatic but I am not going to lie to you guys about what was going through my head!

I spent Thursday and Friday night by myself going stir-crazy in my little dorm room. There's only so much Netflix you can watch in one night!

My friend Courtney and I had a talk Saturday and realized that we were both feeling the same way. She was in the room literally across the hall from me doing the same thing I was (though we both thought the other was out, and didn't bother to text each other).

Basically, despite my feelings of aloneness and discouragement, I found someone else who was feeling the same way I was. We ended up going out with our friends Saturday night, though I didn't have anything to drink. I still had a good time!


This long story was basically to say that if you're feeling the same way I am, you're not the only one. But it'll all turn out okay!

This weekend, I am not going to wallow in self pity or whatever dramatic feelings I had. I can go out and not drink, stay in with someone and hang out, have a late night gym sesh, go to bed early, etc.

I still want to find more friends that enjoy not going out Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights every weekend. But I also need to feel happiness about sticking to what I want, and not letting anyone influence me to differ from my goals.

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